Spend enough time on social media and it can start to feel as though everybody's ex is a narcissist, every unpleasant boss is a narcissist and approximately half the population is currently recovering from narcissistic abuse. I understand why the language has become so popular. For someone coming out of a confusing, manipulative or emotionally damaging relationship, discovering words such as gaslighting, love bombing or narcissistic abuse can be incredibly validating. Suddenl

“Be kinder to yourself” is advice I give fairly often. I also think it’s advice we sometimes misunderstand. Self-compassion has become associated with slowing down, giving yourself grace, lowering expectations and accepting that you’re doing your best. All of those things can be important, particularly if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, neurodivergent, living with chronic illness or have spent years speaking to yourself in a way you would never dream of speaking to another per

Somewhere along the way, "neurodivergence is a superpower" became one of those phrases we're apparently supposed to nod enthusiastically at. And I understand where it came from. For a long time, conversations about ADHD and autism focused overwhelmingly on deficits: what someone couldn't do, what needed correcting, where they struggled or how they differed from the supposed norm. Moving towards a more strengths-based understanding was important. Neurodivergent people can be c

There is a strange expectation placed on disabled and chronically ill people that once we've reached some mythical state of “acceptance”, we're supposed to be completely at peace with everything that comes with it. We should have embraced our bodies, found the silver lining, become impressively resilient and perhaps even be grateful for everything our experiences have taught us. Preferably while smiling. I don't think acceptance works like that. You can accept that disability

You know what needs doing. The email is still sitting there, patiently. The washing has been in the basket long enough that it may now qualify as a permanent fixture. You've been meaning to book that appointment for about three weeks, and you've thought about it — really thought about it — more times than it would have taken to just pick up the phone. None of this has slipped your mind. That's the part that makes it confusing. You haven't forgotten. You've thought about it at